I'm finding just within the past few weeks that the world is getting way too real for me. I'm changing my major every week and a half, I have enough money to keep my car full of gas but never enough to put away for school.... And all my friends have reached a weird stage that I skipped, where all they want to do is flirt and fuck each other without any second thought.
I feel lost and either left behind or rocketed forward, because I have never experienced this stage of life. I have far too much self respect to post any notably revealing pictures on facebook, I've never slept with someone I didn't care about (or even wasn't dating, for that matter), and at gatherings I'd rather talk about Muse than how good I am in bed.
Don't misread me though. Sex and physical attention are fantastic - But I prefer to keep the details between myself, whoever I'm dating, and a few close friends. Not the entire county.
I'm also not trying to say that safe, discreet promiscuity is a bad thing in all cases. I'm well aware that there are people out there who have no interest in being in a monogamous relationship but maintain sexual relationships with several people. It is important however, in my humble opinion, to maintain your self respect and act like an adult about your personal life.
Let me give you an example. My friends and I regularly gather at an undisclosed restaurant chain, just to hang out. It used to seem to me to be an intellectual exchange of ideas and stories, but as of late has become more of a flirt fest in which I find myself taking little part.
We did this last Tuesday. Sometimes when we do, there are up to 25 people, but this was more of a medium sized gathering, just about what would have been perfect without the people who turn it from a compendium of youthful knowledge to a hole of agitated hormones. A new friend had joined us for the first time, we'll call him Colton. Two semi-regulars who I've never much cared for, we'll call Rowan and Paola, were also there.
Paola essentially attacked Colton with overly-flirtatious attention almost immediately. She seemed to cling to him all night - If he moved seats, so did she. She had to be where he was.
Some time later, the three of us and another friend went out for cigarettes. After finishing Colton and the other friend went inside, leaving Paola and I to ourselves. Being that I have no reason or even desire to be rude to her, we made friendly enough small talk.
"I think he likes me," She said to me excitedly.
Words were beyond me. I eventually chuckled out "Yeah, maybe." All I could think was that she would probably think anyone liked her after relentlessly commanding their attention for the last hour and a half.
But regardless, it was true he was interested. Not with the best intentions, unsurprisingly, but I couldn't even blame him after she had practically shoved her chest in his face all night. They were already texting later on when I went back to his apartment with him and some other friends. He practically echoed her, stating that he thought she was in to him. Too obvious.
Just today, my best friend told me that they slept together last night. As badly as I wanted to be surprised, I couldn't find it in myself. But the disgust and disappointment came easy.
I don't mean to sound bitter, and maybe I'm the one out of the norm.
I just wonder if young people these days do it for attention or legitimate desire. Is this what's typical today? To give it up after less than a week? I've found in my own experience that acting like a woman with class and an air of mystery is just as effective at attracting worthwhile men, but unlike some, I get to maintain my dignity and pride as well.
I promise you all, I'm not a prude. Not that it matters. And I understand and acknowledge that all people have free will and will do as they like. But I call upon my fellow females, a simple request:
Ladies, you are beautiful. I don't know you and I don't care, but you are. You don't need to show off your body like it's on sale for $19.99 to get the attention of someone worth your time. Mystique goes so much farther than loud, seemingly drunken words about how hot you are do. In the words of Polonius (1.3.78-79), "This above all: to thine own self be true."
I only wonder what happened to the days of the independent woman versus the needy girl. Maybe one day we'll see it again. But I'm likely blissfully delusional.
No comments:
Post a Comment